Guide to surviving



  • Okay, before we get started, I know there’s going to be a bunch of people saying “lol ur dumb”. It’s inevitable. You just can’t keep retards from posting unfortunately. Anyways, let’s get started regardless.

    BARRICADING: Usually on house maps, people make the mistake of only cading upstairs, cading in a bathroom or a single room. This isn’t really a good idea. At all. once your cade breaks, the zombies pour in and swing away until you’re all dead. What you want to do is barricade the entire house. If not, a good portion of the house. Do not destroy the doors or windows. Yeah, they suck dicks. But everything that buys you time against the zombies is required for survival. Those front doors will buy you about 30 to 40 seconds on their own. And with a good barricade built up on the front doors, they may buy you several minutes. Of course, the zombies ~will~ eventually force you back after breaking your main barricade. But still, if they do it’s probably around wave 3 or so if you have skilled players.

    SPAWN CAMPING: Although it may get you a good amount of kills, spawn camping zombies is generally a bad idea. First of all, if you’re on a house map and you spawn inside, don’t destroy the front doors just to go out and spawn camp goddamn zombies. And if you spawn outside, destroy something that isn’t that important. Like a single window. Then if possible get someone to cade the window back up. Anyways, back to spawn camping. When you go out to spawn camp zombies, you’re most likely going to get hit. Every last health point matters later on in the game. You’ll get plenty of opportunities to kill zombies inside the cade, especially now that JetBoom has implemented an awesome assist system (thanks Jet! :smile:). Also you’re probably going to end up being barricaded out, and then once you’re stuck outside with the zombies, death is almost unavoidable. So, spawn camping zombies = BAD IDEA

    EARLYCADING: It’s like I said at the beginning, stupid people are pretty much unpreventable. There’s still going to be idiots spawn camping zombies. When you barricade, for the love of god, try to cade as few people as possible out. Because once they’re out, their death is almost unavoidable. And unless they ragequit, they’re going to turn into zombies. Zombies that want to kill you. And once all the spawn campers get turned into zombies, you’re going to have a massive mob of zombies beating mercilessly on your barricades. Even the period between waves will be fucking hell. So, try not to cade a shit ton of people out. Oh and for fucks sakes, don’t barricade where nobody can get in before wave 1 even starts.

    CADE HUMPING: We all know what cade humping is. It’s annoying as fuck and prevents people from getting kills. The more people with good guns, the better. You aren’t some badass motherfucker G.I. Joe walk out of a fucking explosion duke nukem zombie killer who will save everyone with your goddamn crossbow. If nobody else has good weapons and they aren’t giving you decent backup, You’re not going to fucking live very long. Allow other people to get kills too. Let me remind you that ZOMBIE SURVIVAL is about SURVIVING, NOT getting the most kills. “Oh look, we lost but i’m human first!” Sure, but where did that human first get you?

    TEAM KILLING: If you think it’s funny to deliberately cause the death of your teammates, you need to get off the fucking internet and never go near a goddamn computer again. Pushing people off of ledges isn’t funny. It makes people angry and OH LOOK, MORE ZOMBIES! Another thing people like to do is use a #func_physbox to kill teammates. Let me explain how the physbox can be used to teamkill. When you hit a prop at a teammate, the prop recognizes you as the owner until someone else hits it. If the prop owned by you hits a teammate, it will do no damage because there is no friendly fire. However, the func_physbox is eternally owned by the world. The world is a merciless sonofabitch who will kill you until you smash your keyboard against your head until you bleed out of your ears. Since it is owned by the world permanently and cannot recognize another owner, it will kill you no matter who shot it at you or hit it at you, so on so forth. A func_physbox is usually an improvised prop made in the hammer editor that you don’t usually find on other maps due to the fact that they were  created by the map creator to avoid having to go through the trouble to make a custom model. (E.G. the trashcan lids on mall.)

    CHEM ZOMBIES: These will ruin you if you do not know how to handle them. You need to shoot the chems BEFORE they get right up next to your barricade. Chem zombies are another reason not to hump the barricade, because somebody is going to shoot the chem, and you’re going to get blown to pieces. If a chem does manage to get next to the cade, you’re going to have to shoot it and hope it doesn’t happen again. Choke points are fantastic for handling these. If there is no chokepoint, try to get them through a window. If theres neither a choke point or a window, you’re going to need a lot of nails. For the love of god, don’t just let the chems sit there and act as a shield for the other zombies to rip your barricades the shreds. Ignore my fucking avatar please.

    That’s all for now, let me know if there’s something I should add.



  • Okay, before we get started, I know there’s going to be a bunch of people saying “lol ur dumb”. It’s inevitable. You just can’t keep retards from posting unfortunately. Anyways, let’s get started regardless.

    BARRICADING: Usually on house maps, people make the mistake of only cading upstairs, cading in a bathroom or a single room. This isn’t really a good idea. At all. once your cade breaks, the zombies pour in and swing away until you’re all dead. What you want to do is barricade the entire house. If not, a good portion of the house. Do not destroy the doors or windows. Yeah, they suck dicks. But everything that buys you time against the zombies is required for survival. Those front doors will buy you about 30 to 40 seconds on their own. And with a good barricade built up on the front doors, they may buy you several minutes. Of course, the zombies ~will~ eventually force you back after breaking your main barricade. But still, if they do it’s probably around wave 3 or so if you have skilled players.

    SPAWN CAMPING: Although it may get you a good amount of kills, spawn camping zombies is generally a bad idea. First of all, if you’re on a house map and you spawn inside, don’t destroy the front doors just to go out and spawn camp goddamn zombies. And if you spawn outside, destroy something that isn’t that important. Like a single window. Then if possible get someone to cade the window back up. Anyways, back to spawn camping. When you go out to spawn camp zombies, you’re most likely going to get hit. Every last health point matters later on in the game. You’ll get plenty of opportunities to kill zombies inside the cade, especially now that JetBoom has implemented an awesome assist system (thanks Jet! :smile:). Also you’re probably going to end up being barricaded out, and then once you’re stuck outside with the zombies, death is almost unavoidable. So, spawn camping zombies = BAD IDEA

    EARLYCADING: It’s like I said at the beginning, stupid people are pretty much unpreventable. There’s still going to be idiots spawn camping zombies. When you barricade, for the love of god, try to cade as few people as possible out. Because once they’re out, their death is almost unavoidable. And unless they ragequit, they’re going to turn into zombies. Zombies that want to kill you. And once all the spawn campers get turned into zombies, you’re going to have a massive mob of zombies beating mercilessly on your barricades. Even the period between waves will be fucking hell. So, try not to cade a shit ton of people out. Oh and for fucks sakes, don’t barricade where nobody can get in before wave 1 even starts.

    CADE HUMPING: We all know what cade humping is. It’s annoying as fuck and prevents people from getting kills. The more people with good guns, the better. You aren’t some badass motherfucker G.I. Joe walk out of a fucking explosion duke nukem zombie killer who will save everyone with your goddamn crossbow. If nobody else has good weapons and they aren’t giving you decent backup, You’re not going to fucking live very long. Allow other people to get kills too. Let me remind you that ZOMBIE SURVIVAL is about SURVIVING, NOT getting the most kills. “Oh look, we lost but i’m human first!” Sure, but where did that human first get you?

    TEAM KILLING: If you think it’s funny to deliberately cause the death of your teammates, you need to get off the fucking internet and never go near a goddamn computer again. Pushing people off of ledges isn’t funny. It makes people angry and OH LOOK, MORE ZOMBIES! Another thing people like to do is use a #func_physbox to kill teammates. Let me explain how the physbox can be used to teamkill. When you hit a prop at a teammate, the prop recognizes you as the owner until someone else hits it. If the prop owned by you hits a teammate, it will do no damage because there is no friendly fire. However, the func_physbox is eternally owned by the world. The world is a merciless sonofabitch who will kill you until you smash your keyboard against your head until you bleed out of your ears. Since it is owned by the world permanently and cannot recognize another owner, it will kill you no matter who shot it at you or hit it at you, so on so forth. A func_physbox is usually an improvised prop made in the hammer editor that you don’t usually find on other maps due to the fact that they were  created by the map creator to avoid having to go through the trouble to make a custom model. (E.G. the trashcan lids on mall.)

    CHEM ZOMBIES: These will ruin you if you do not know how to handle them. You need to shoot the chems BEFORE they get right up next to your barricade. Chem zombies are another reason not to hump the barricade, because somebody is going to shoot the chem, and you’re going to get blown to pieces. If a chem does manage to get next to the cade, you’re going to have to shoot it and hope it doesn’t happen again. Choke points are fantastic for handling these. If there is no chokepoint, try to get them through a window. If theres neither a choke point or a window, you’re going to need a lot of nails. For the love of god, don’t just let the chems sit there and act as a shield for the other zombies to rip your barricades the shreds. Ignore my fucking avatar please.

    That’s all for now, let me know if there’s something I should add.



  • make a proper “how to handle chems” part

    because “don’t shoot them” is stupid and will allow the other zombies to use them as cover



  • EARLYCADING

    The problem is people WILL get bored, especially if everyone is inside, but they are at the least risk. I think a good trade off is to make sure you have at least 50% in a big room, or just enough to hold together a really good area.

    And shooting. Just fucking shoot.

    If you think it’s funny to deliberately cause the death of your teammates, you need to get off the fucking internet and never go near a goddamn computer again.

    Great guide.



  • You have a very valid point eisiger, but still their death is your problem later on.



  • Keep in mind that how to win varies with each map.
    Usually, I like to barricade as close to zombie spawn as safely possible and slowly fall back. Ideally, you want to be in the last resort room after wave 6 begins.



  • Wow you really overcomplicated this.

    1. Get everyone in one place.
    2. Make a barricade.
    3. Stare at holes in barricade and click occasionally.



  • I like the guide very much, well done. (no sarcasm)



  • @ragedakiddies:

    Wow you really overcomplicated this.

    1. Get everyone in one place.
    2. Make a barricade.
    3. Stare at holes in barricade and click occasionally.

    Wrong.

    On enclosed maps:
    1. Cade the closest natural chokepoint to the zombies.
    2. During this time, have other be working on fallback cades at chokepoints further back, while leaving room for those shooting through the first cade to fall back into.
    3. That’s it.

    On other maps:
    1. fuck



  • @Tesladawg:

    But everything that buys you time against the zombies is absolutely detrimental to survival.

    no, detrimental is baaaad.



  • shit, wrong word



  • @xRdJx:

    no, detrimental is baaaad.

    I thought that looked strange when I read it…



  • derp



  • Hey, I learned something with that.



  • Replace detrimental with either:
    essential
    indispensable
    incumbent
    needed
    needful
    required
    requisite
    obligatory



  • Or you could use my abridged version.



  • 1. Do anything to ensure your survival, even if it’s only Last Human. This includes backstabbing, shoving, and locking others out. The biggest cunt always wins.



  • gubernatorial



  • I already fixed detrimental. I knew it sounded funny :\



  • Obligatory: lol your dumb

    I find your guide to be a bit too specific. Reason I say is cause every map has a different tact to follow. I feel simple do and dont’s make better guides for new players, let them figure the rest out.


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