Forums are in read-only mode. Data has been backed up but be sure to save anything you want.

The Republican way, is the right way.



  • There are two Versions - Read Both

    TRADITIONAL VERSION:

    The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

    The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

    Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.  The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

    MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!

    MODERN VERSION

    The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

    The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

    Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.

    CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.

    America is stunned by the sharp contrast.

    How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

    Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when they sing, ‘It’s Not Easy Being Green.’

    Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant’s house where the news stations film the group singing, 'We Shall Overcome.’ Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper’s sake.

    Nancy Pelosi, John Kerry & Harry Reid exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.

    Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer!  The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.

    Hillary Clinton gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal judges that Bill Clinton appointed from a list of single-parent welfare recipients.

    The ant loses the case.

    The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant’s food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant’s old house, crumbles around him because he doesn’t maintain it.

    The ant has disappeared in the snow.

    The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.



  • There are two Versions - Read Both

    TRADITIONAL VERSION:

    The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

    The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

    Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.  The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

    MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!

    MODERN VERSION

    The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

    The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

    Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.

    CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.

    America is stunned by the sharp contrast.

    How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

    Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when they sing, ‘It’s Not Easy Being Green.’

    Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant’s house where the news stations film the group singing, 'We Shall Overcome.’ Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper’s sake.

    Nancy Pelosi, John Kerry & Harry Reid exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.

    Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer!  The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.

    Hillary Clinton gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal judges that Bill Clinton appointed from a list of single-parent welfare recipients.

    The ant loses the case.

    The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant’s food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant’s old house, crumbles around him because he doesn’t maintain it.

    The ant has disappeared in the snow.

    The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.



  • How about you remove that wall of text and link to the page you got it from?



  • I liked the traditional way, it had a morale rather than a crummy ending.



  • Ants and grasshoppers watch CBS?



  • It’s a metaphor, idiot.

    But it’s a very good metaphor, and makes a LOT of sense.



  • @killerbee:

    Hillary Clinton gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal judges that Bill Clinton appointed from a list of single-parent welfare recipients.

    The ant loses the case.

    I lold here.



  • @RayK:

    It’s a metaphor, idiot.

    But it’s a very good metaphor, and makes a LOT of sense.

    But yes, very good metaphor.



  • JOHN MICCAIN!



  • Politics.



  • zet it’s because this stuff is emailed to me, I’ll have more Republican Truths later, it all comes from all meh republican friends

    dumb-democrats :axe:



  • Yeah, this isn’t a republican idea though, this is a captitalist idea.

    Though welfare is a problem.

    Our bipartisan system is ruining America. All politicians should be independants.



  • If it weren’t for goverments giving money to the poor…… I would be a begger on the street now. In the grasshopper example, the grasshopper doesn’t collect any food and hence the republican way is the best. However, what if the grasshopper did collect food, but then a storm struck and he lost all his food? Is the republican way the best way to deal with the matter then? What if the grasshopper ended up with no food, housing , etc because he was forced to evacuate his country of residence and go to an alternate country, which he happens to be a citizen of, and start a new life there? Let me just tell you right now that that the last grasshopper I mentioned happens to be me and if it weren’t for the generosity of the Norwegian government, I would not even have a home to live in right now. Just because someone is poor it doesn’t necessarily mean they didn’t work hard enough and you republicans need to realize this.



  • This guy had the idea, except for the mass suicides.



  • @Rick:

    Politics.

    Correct!!

    +1 to reading comprehension for Rick Astley  :uglylaugh:

    EDIT: God dammit. Why can’t you see my stats underneath my name? There is no Gmod link to my Nox stats. Whats the dela with that???


Log in to reply
 

0
Online

11.3k
Users

15.5k
Topics

300.2k
Posts