How to Cluwne.



  • **To be cluwne you must be good in the art of the funny.

    Some useful tips are:
    Take of your clothes and say: “*poop” then force feed someone your poop while you whine about it on the coms.
    Remember to write “SHITCURITY” in front of the jail cells with a rainbow pen and bitch when you get beat up for it.

    Lay a cluwne egg by clearing out the vending machines with food until you can no longer force anymore down, then lay an egg. You can only have 1 at a time so if it dies lay another.

    If you’re going to kill, don’t just robust people, it’s not funny. For example: tie someone up, poop in a locker, throw the person in the locker, hide them in the bathroom.
    As a cluwne everyone wants to kill you, so make sure to defend yourself unless you want to end up in spess.
    Cluwnes should not take off their costume.
    Make sure to use your horn every five seconds.
    Cluwnes are slow, so have fun running away.
    Pester the robotist for a H.O.N.K. Mech.

    Throw pies at everyone.
    Bleed your colorful blood everywhere.
    Don’t try to use weapons, cluwnes are dumb and you’ll probobly shoot your eye out.
    If you are thrown in jail, bitch about it and then poop everywhere and have an egg, eventually dieing of trying to poop so much or jabbing your eye out with a pen.
    Your PDA is slippery, use it well…
    Make stupid newscaster stations and constantly bitch at how shitcurity is not doing its job.
    Remember mimes are your bros.

    Make puns.
    Shove all animals in the disposals.
    Shove yourself in the disposals.
    Whine on the coms about getting out of disposals.
    Remember that no one likes you.
    Get thrown out an airlock.

    If you’re a good clown people should react like: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GSxPTlJ1nOA

    Useful videos: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uo0S_7gmZqs
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hKCEnFwsvAI
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KqcEMRD06Q0

    **



  • **To be cluwne you must be good in the art of the funny.

    Some useful tips are:
    Take of your clothes and say: “*poop” then force feed someone your poop while you whine about it on the coms.
    Remember to write “SHITCURITY” in front of the jail cells with a rainbow pen and bitch when you get beat up for it.

    Lay a cluwne egg by clearing out the vending machines with food until you can no longer force anymore down, then lay an egg. You can only have 1 at a time so if it dies lay another.

    If you’re going to kill, don’t just robust people, it’s not funny. For example: tie someone up, poop in a locker, throw the person in the locker, hide them in the bathroom.
    As a cluwne everyone wants to kill you, so make sure to defend yourself unless you want to end up in spess.
    Cluwnes should not take off their costume.
    Make sure to use your horn every five seconds.
    Cluwnes are slow, so have fun running away.
    Pester the robotist for a H.O.N.K. Mech.

    Throw pies at everyone.
    Bleed your colorful blood everywhere.
    Don’t try to use weapons, cluwnes are dumb and you’ll probobly shoot your eye out.
    If you are thrown in jail, bitch about it and then poop everywhere and have an egg, eventually dieing of trying to poop so much or jabbing your eye out with a pen.
    Your PDA is slippery, use it well…
    Make stupid newscaster stations and constantly bitch at how shitcurity is not doing its job.
    Remember mimes are your bros.

    Make puns.
    Shove all animals in the disposals.
    Shove yourself in the disposals.
    Whine on the coms about getting out of disposals.
    Remember that no one likes you.
    Get thrown out an airlock.

    If you’re a good clown people should react like: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GSxPTlJ1nOA

    Useful videos: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uo0S_7gmZqs
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hKCEnFwsvAI
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KqcEMRD06Q0

    **



  • You forgot “kick all corgis to death then put them in the washing machine”.



  • @DR.:

    You forgot “kick all corgis to death then put them in the washing machine”.

    I’d rather put them in washing machines whilst they’re alive



  • very nice guide.
    10/10.
    would read again.



  • You forgot if you are the homicidal robust clown.

    Pester chemistry for a bottle of spess lube. Slip said chemist into a hull breach afterwards, along with 60% of the crew.



  • @OneWingedMajora:

    Take of your clothes and say: “*poop” then force feed someone your poop while you whine about it on the coms.

    Bah, that’s amateur level clowning.

    You are supposed to run next to the Cap/HoS/officer, Ctrl click them to pull and quickly take off your jumpsuit, and start moving while saying your pretyped *poop, after you have slipped them with your poo, only then you force feed it.
    Also if you are fast enough you can feed them the whole poop before they get up.



  • My signature clown move: Turn off the safeties and auto-shut on hallway doors, add remote signallers to the open/close wire, add slippery substance to slip into doorframe, repeatedly honk the crew to death with doors.

    Bonus points if AI gets blamed



  • what is an open/close wire and what is a auto-shut wire

    pretty sure you turn the test light off to open or close doors and the “Check Wiring” for the door makes it close 1 second after it’s been opened



  • Open and close wires are for all-access doors. I need to recheck for the auto-shut wires but I’ve done it before.



  • You can attach remote signalers to any of the door’s wires to toggle their functions.
    For example you can attach a remote signaler to a door’s close and bolt wires to trap someone in a room and simultaneously open a bomb valve.



  • Cluwne, this is why I love you and you’ll always be my Captain’s pet. ;)



  • @Vodka:

    Cluwne, this is why I love you and you’ll always be my Captain’s pet. ;)

    Hue hue hue, drive by hunking… #420honkit.



  • this is a pretty good guide except theres one major error

    THE MIME IS NOT YOUR BRO HE IS JUST A FAGGOT WHO STEALS THE VIOLIN AND TRIES TO MURDER YOU



  • @Nernums:

    this is a pretty good guide except theres one major error

    THE MIME IS NOT YOUR BRO HE IS JUST A FAGGOT WHO STEALS THE VIOLIN AND TRIES TO MURDER YOU

    You obviously have not read and been inspired by Vodka’s notorious clownXmime slashfic. They’re the very modern Sherlock/Watson duo.



  • @Vodka:

    You obviously have not read and been inspired by Vodka’s notorious clownXmime slashfic. They’re the very modern Sherlock/Watson duo.

    I have only ever played with one mime who I enjoyed playing with, who did the most custom mime emotes I’ve ever seen.
    I acted as his clown interpreter while talking to the captain and security.

    it was the greatest round ever.



  • @Nernums:

    I have only ever played with one mime who I enjoyed playing with, who did the most custom mime emotes I’ve ever seen.
    I acted as his clown interpreter while talking to the captain and security.

    it was the greatest round ever.

    This convinces me that we need ‘An Italian Guy’ who just flails his arms around as, y’know, Italians do - a direct villain of the Mime. ;P



  • Well the chef is already taken so i guess it could be the janitor, you could rebalance the janicart to be like the clowncar only instead of not stopping it swerves all over the place and crashes into everything.



  • @DR.:

    Well the chef is already taken so i guess it could be the janitor, you could rebalance the janicart to be like the clowncar only instead of not stopping it swerves all over the place and crashes into everything.

    The Janitor is Asian?



  • Clown and Mime are supposed to be rivals… but well it seems that on a station full of assholes similar interest can cause some weird cooperation.


Log in to reply
 

10
Online

10978
Users

15258
Topics

297330
Posts

Looks like your connection to NoXiousNet was lost, please wait while we try to reconnect.